My Workout Routine, Part 1: Weights & The Monster

DISCLAIMER: I am not a personal trainer or physician. The workouts I do were developed by experienced trainers and other people far more knowledgeable than me, and I have also spent a lot of time tweaking them to fit my personality, ability, and schedule. Just because they work for me, does not mean they'll work for you. It's your responsibility to consult with a physician before you begin ANY workout routine. This post is for informational purposes ONLY -- read and/or participate at your own risk!

I tweet pretty regularly about my workouts, and after referring to "The Monster" a few times, folks have been asking me what my exercise routine involves. And because I like to give people what they want, I'll spend the next few blog posts talking about what exactly I do in my little gym.

The simplest explanation I can give is that I work out six days a week, with one day of complete rest. Now, I don't do the Monster all six days; I think that might kill me, and honestly even I don't have that much free time. I try to keep things a simple as possible, so rather than have a schedule where I do certain things on certain days (i.e. legs on Wednesdays, back and shoulders on Thursdays), I do the workouts in a certain sequence. Abs (aka "The 400," more on that in my abs post) and cardio are non-negotiable, meaning they get done on all six workout days. However, if I don't do weight training, my cardio session is doubled.

I realized as I was writing this that breaking down all three components (weight training, cardio, and abs) in any kind of detail would result in a ridiculously long post. So, today I'll talk to you about weights, and we'll talk cardio and abs another time. M'kay? M'kay.

Here's what my weight training schedule looks like. (Again, remember that in addition to these weight training routines, I do abs and cardio EVERY TIME.)

Day 1 -- No weight training
Day 2 -- Chest & Arms
Day 3 -- Back & Shoulders
Day 4 -- Legs & Bum
Day 5 -- The Monster
Day 6 -- No weight training
Day 7 -- Rest day

I've found that this sequence works really well for me. It leaves me sore, for sure, but not so sore that I can't function, can't work (I'm a massage therapist, so I have to be able to move), or can't drag myself in for another workout. However, this schedule isn't set in stone, and I don't beat myself up if I don't follow it exactly. One of the best ways to fail at exercising is to have a routine with absolutely no flexibility!

As I outlined above, I work different muscle groups on different days and culminate the workout sequence with a day of total body weight training. Unless otherwise noted, I do three sets of 15 reps for each of these exercises. The amount of weight may change from day to day; the weights shown below are my minimums. Some days I up it if I'm feeling particularly diesel, but my rule of thumb is that I have to be able to complete the full 15 reps with good form. If I can't, it's too much weight.

Chest & Arms
Incline dumbbell press, 8 lbs each hand
Incline fly, 8 lbs each hand
Incline bar press, bar only (My bar weighs about 30-40lbs, I'm not exactly sure.)
Flat dumbbell press, 8 lbs each hand
Flat fly, 8 lbs each hand
Bench press, bar only
Hammer curl, 8 lbs (3 x 15 reps each arm)
Tricep pushdown, 20 lbs

Back & Shoulders
Bent-over rows, 8 lbs each hand
Dumbbell curls, 8 lbs (3 x 15 reps each arm)
One-arm rows, 8 lbs (3 x 15 reps each arm)
Lat pull-downs, 25 lbs
Pull-overs, 12 lbs

Legs & Bum
Lunges, no weight (3 x 15 reps each leg)
Reverse lunges, no weight (3 x 15 reps each leg)
Leg extensions, 25 lbs
Donkey kicks*, 12 lbs (3 x 15 reps each leg)
Squats, 20 lbs each hand
Dead lift, bar only (I believe the bar I use weighs 20 lbs.)

*I do these because I hate the leg curl apparatus on my weight bench. And because they make my bum work a little harder. And if you've ever seen me in person, you know that I am in dire need of bum-enhancement.

Each of these routines takes me about 30 minutes to complete. I try to move from exercise to exercise quickly, like circuit training, and I change up the order to keep it interesting. For example, this is how I did legs and bum today: one set of reverse lunges on each leg, one set of regular lunges on each leg, a set of leg extensions, and then a set of donkey kicks. Then I repeated that sequence two more times. It keeps my heart rate up and it makes the time go by faster.

The Monster is all three of the above routines combined (Back & Shoulders + Chest & Arms + Legs & Bum). It takes close to two hours (although I'm getting my time down the more I do it), which is one of the reasons I only do it once a week. Also keep in mind that I worked out for a looooong time (months!) before I ever attempted it. When I finish that workout, I am DONE with a capital D, but I also feel super strong, tough, and ready to tackle anything.

So that's it for weights! Tomorrow we'll talk cardio, and after that, abs. Woop woop!

"Loft"y Goals

Hubs took the day off work today. Our original plan was to spend the day in the yard, cleaning up flower beds, planting, and such. But the weather did not agree with us. It was cold and rainy -- not ideal "let's get outside" weather. So what did we do? We decided to have a day date, and headed to the mall for window shopping and a movie.

At the mall, I pulled Hubs into one of my dream stores...Ann Taylor Loft. (Try not to laugh -- far beneath my tattooed, formerly punk-rock exterior lies a very preppy girl who would happily spend her days in a pencil skirt and a cardigan.) I have never, ever in my adult life been able to try on (let alone purchase) clothes from this store. It's always been out of my size range and my price range. But I love the clothes. They're simple, well made, and just...the kind of clothes I'd like to wear.

We walked around the store, and I pointed out things that I liked. A blouse, a dress, an outfit. It never crossed my mind to try anything on until I saw this jacket. I am an absolute sucker for a trench coat (maybe it's my inner flasher!), and I love dark denim. I saw the price tag ($98! What in the ham sandwich!) and quickly inventoried the rack to see what the largest size was. L. Large. Big sigh. There's no way, I thought. The trench I have at home is a XXL from Old Navy. There's no way a Large from Ann Taylor -- land of the teeny tiny ladies -- would even fit over my monster shoulders! But I decided to pull it off the hanger anyway, just for a laugh. Just to confirm what I already knew, that my big sausage arms and flabby belly wouldn't fit, that I'd end up looking like Chris Farley from that famous scene in "Tommy Boy."


"Fat man in a little coaaaat..."

But lo and behold! That doggone trench FIT. And not super tight, second skin, if I starve for a week and put on some Spanx "fit," I mean it ACTUALLY FIT. I was so excited. I knew we couldn't afford it, and it didn't even upset me that I couldn't have it. And the look on my husband's face...he was so happy for me, so proud of me.

Just knowing that jacket is hanging up in my dream store, and it fits me...that's enough. It's enough to know that my hard work is paying off, that all these years and months of struggling have gotten me so far, that the days when I'll be able to fit into EVERYTHING at Ann Taylor are not far away. It's enough.

187.6

I have so much to do, I can't even think straight. Y'all, I have a lot of pots on the fire right now. So many awesome things are happening! I don't really have time to write at the moment. Gah! I keep promising you details and then leaving you hanging...sorry. Hang just a little longer and I promise it'll be worth the wait!

190

I know I haven't blogged in ages, but so much has been going on. I'll write a longer update this week. Right now I'm just happy to report that my down time after surgery did NOT result in a big weight gain. 190! Woop woop!