GPOYW, Drains in the Belleh, and a Conversation with Smith

So here I am on a Wednesday, hair looking a little Robert Smith-ish, slightly tired. Once again wearing my beloved black Vans t-shirt, even though it has holes in the armpits and probably qualifies more as charcoal grey than black.

I was off work today, Kid was in school, Hubs at his office. I had a lazy morning (kind of -- it's not really lazy if you're cleaning bathrooms and washing sheets) and then headed to my doctor's office. (In case you're not familiar with my medical saga, I've been having problems with my belly since my C-section in 2008. I had a hernia, had the hernia repaired, had my gall bladder out, and had to have the hernia repair fixed. It's been a giant pain in the you-know-what. And of course, just when I think it's done, something else happens. What happened this time? Mysterious, excruciating abdominal pain paired with yet another lump in the area of the hernia.) Anyway, I finally saw my surgeon today. I explained what was going on, and he did a quick ultrasound that revealed a big pocket of fluid where my hernia used to be. One giant needle later, he'd drained about four ounces out of it, and told me I should be fine. He said the pain was probably being caused by all the pressure of that accumulated fluid.

Well, I'm not fine, of course. I'm home and in worse pain than I was before he drained the stupid thing, and it's already filling back up. Lumpy's Revenge. Now I have to go see a radiologist and have a drain installed (that just sounds wrong!) in my belly. The hope is that if the fluid can drain continuously, the pocket where the hernia used to live will close up and that will be the end. In the meantime, I've been given a prescription for pain meds. That's awesome, except that when I have to come OFF the pain meds, I'll go through that ridiculous sugar binge cycle I run into every time I take opiates or oxycodones or whatever they are. *sigh*

I'm trying really, really hard not to sit here and wallow in self-pity. I mean it. I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me or stroke me or hold my hand (although delivery of Thai food, Vogue, and a gin & tonic would be lovely). I just want this to be over and done with already. I've wasted so much time dealing with medical problems. I know I'm supposed to learn something from all of it, that there's a greater plan, that it's all happening for a reason, but right now I just want to stomp my foot and shake my fist at the sky and yell, "ENOUGH ALREADY!"

At least now I can stop speculating about what's going on in my abdomen. I wouldn't call myself a hypochondriac, but I do tend to imagine the worst when it comes to any sort of medical problems. Smith loves to give me a hard time about this:

Me: "My belly hurts. I think I have pancreatitis."
Smith: "You don't have pancreatitis. You need to stop looking at WebMD and go take a poop."

Poop. If only it were that simple!

GPOYW - Unedited!

Craziness! 4.6.2010

So I'm finally okay with posting unedited pictures of myself. I don't do any editing that makes me look thinner, but I do usually tweak the exposure and crop things to make them, well, prettier. I've done nothing to the picture above, and I'm okay with that. It's not the most flattering shot, but it captures exactly what I wanted it to: I'M HAPPY. We (me and Hubs) were outside playing with the kiddo, who decided to fill up his watering can and douse me with lukewarm water from the rain barrel. It was a warm spring evening, almost feeling like summer, and I was outside with my family doing nothing but having fun.

GPOYW: A Day Late...AGAIN

For the last few days, I haven't really known what day it is. On Tuesday, I was sure it was Wednesday. Yesterday, I thought it was Tuesday. Basically, I'm (somewhat) losing my mind. You have to remember that my day usually begins around 3:30 AM and keeps going, and going, and going until at least 9:00 PM. I put an end to my early bedtime (I used to go to bed around 7:00 PM if I had to open the next day) when I realized how much family time I was missing, how much extra work it made for the Hubs, and how much it made me feel like an 86-year-old retiree from Boca Raton. And I feel like that enough already, what with the kaftans and short-term memory loss. Add to this the fact that I almost always work both Saturday and Sunday, so there is no "TGIF!" or "Oh crap, it's MONDAY," and that's why I don't usually know what day it is.

Anyway, here we are on Thursday (are you sure?!), and it dawns on me that I've missed yet another self-imposed photo deadline. I've really been dropping the ball on these. I guiltily snapped a shot of myself this morning, after I finished getting ready for Job #2:

Look at those shifty eyes. GUILT! GUILT! they scream.

First, I'd like it noted that my hair has improved considerably. The weird La-Femme-Nikita-Before-Her-Makeover 'do is pretty much gone, and it's growing out into a decent bob. I'm sure Kim Vo would have something to say about my roots, but he can suck it. I spent $5.99 and 25 minutes on that hair color, peeps. As long as you don't see any grey, I'm happy.

Second, this picture really reminds me why I hate my glasses and have wanted desperately to switch back to contact lenses. It's such a drag to spend any time putting on eye makeup, only to have it completely camouflaged by my huge (crooked, ghetto-tastic, half-broken, LensCrafters-SUCKS) glasses. Fortunately, Hubs has agreed to let me use a small chunk of our tax return to set myself up with new contacts...can I get a HALLELUJAH?!

Finally, and not to toot my own horn too hard or too loud, but my skin is seriously improving. I've been using this amazing skin care line from the spa -- it's all organic, no crap chemicals, not full of water and alcohol -- and after only about a week, I'm seeing a huge difference. As far as I'm concerned, this alone makes the job at the Spa worthwhile.

Speaking of the Spa, everything's going well there. It's incredibly low-key, even when stuff gets a little crazy (and it does). I'm really, really happy there.

Now, if only I could figure out a way to keep my days of the week straight...

GPOY...Thursday?

So yesterday was kind of a cluster. I started working a second job last week, and some miscommunication about that job (which has since been cleared up) freaked me the eff out. As a result, my regular blogging schedule went out the window, along with a hefty chunk of my sanity.

I woke up this morning determined to have a better day, and determined to make up for yesterday. Here's me around 4:00AM, getting ready to head to Job #1:

Anybody want to guess where I work? Heh.

And here I am a few hours later, getting ready to head to Job #2:

Wow. Not bad!

My second job is at a wonderful new spa opened by my two favorite instructors from massage school. I'm working at the front desk for now, and picking up massage clients here and there. There are plans for me at this place, big plans. Plans about which I am RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED. Let's leave it at that for now, shall we? Ahem.

Anyway, my day did indeed turn out to be a thousand times better than yesterday. There were several nice bonuses: new shoes, sushi lunch, free skincare products from the amazing organic line we carry, and a hilarious eyebrow-desquirreling session. (That's right. We call it DESQUIRRELING. Doesn't that sound so much more fun than "waxing"?) The result was a very happy Fattie:

Significant Reduction in Squirrelyness

You might be wondering why I chose to write about this in my weight loss blog versus my regular blog. Well, kids, my work has a profound impact on my happiness, and my happiness is directly related to how I eat. Unhappy Fattie = Overeating Fattie. Pretty simple. In addition, working two jobs doesn't give me any time to lay around and watch movies, zone out in front of the computer (hence, very little blogging lately), or spend half my day eating when I'm not hungry.

Today? Today was awesome. BEYOND awesome. Drama resolved, plans set, money in my pocket, and a smile on my face. I'm looking forward to a lot more days like this...work that I truly love, and homecoming kisses and hugs from my boys.

That's the best part, you know. I get to end my day with this:

My little man. So happy to see me when I walked in the door. So happy to see ME happy. And that, my friends, makes it all worthwhile.

GPOYW - Kissy Face!

My Best Guido - 2.24.2010

Gym. Tan. Laundry.

Oh, and that's a new shirt, from the REGULAR SIZE SECTION of OldNavy.com. No more plus sized shirts for me! Woo!

GPOYW and HOLY COW!

Thanks to Photojojo, I recently discovered a fun intarwebs trend called "Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Wednesday" or GPOYW. Apparently everybody likes to do self-portraits on Wednesdays, and who am I to argue? They're fun, and on Wednesdays I usually don't have much to write about here. So, here's my first one:

Aside from the fact that I need some waxing and a fashion intervention, I think I look pretty good! Not bad for somebody who got hacked open on the operating table less than a week ago.

But what's "HOLY COW" about, you may be wondering. Well, right after I snapped this picture, I grabbed my phone and called to set up my NCE test date. HO. LY. COW! I can't believe I'm finally going to get this done. My test is on March 20th, so feel free to send good ju-ju my way on that day.

Just to clarify why this is such a big deal...I graduated from massage school in 2007. That's right, THREE YEARS AGO. And I never signed up for my certification test, until now. What's even worse is that I went through school TWICE because I didn't finish all the program requirements the first time. Anyway! That's the past! Now I'm done with school, I've scheduled my test, and before long I'll be free from the Green Apron Empire and on my way to building a successful massage therapy practice.