216

Hooray for losing almost a full pound! Amazing what happens when you get out of bed.

I've had a really hard time the last two weeks. For some reason, when I take heavy-duty painkillers, and for a couple of weeks after I stop taking them, I have INSANE sugar cravings. I experienced this after my hernia repair surgery last year, but I don't think I was as aware of it at that time. What makes these cravings different than a regular sugar craving is that the usual fixes (fruit, protein, water, exercise) don't make them go away. The only thing that stops them is, well, sugar.

They hit suddenly, these cravings, and they send me into a near panic. Before I can blink, I'm rooting through my kitchen cabinets, desperately trying to find a cookie, or a piece of candy, or some long-forgotten stash of sugary goodness. Fortunately, I don't keep stuff like that in the house anymore. I think the only candy-like thing here is a bag of semisweet chocolate chips that I keep on hand for baking, and (so far) I've not touched those. UNfortunately, I have a wonderful, caring, obliging husband who, upon hearing me say that I'm DYING for something sweet, asks what I want and goes out to get it. Limeade from Sonic? Sure. Milkshake? Of course. A candy bar from the 7-11 down the street? Done. Before I know it, I've inhaled an extra thousand calories. I finally had to ask him to tell me no when I demand this stuff. I even agreed to write "I will not get mad at you when you tell me NO" on a piece of paper, a sort of Fattie Rage Protection Order. My poor hubs.

Anyway, I'm determined to get back on track again. I picked up a small notebook at Target last night, to replace the food journal that I lost (read: stopped using), and I'm writing down everything I eat -- like Smith asked me to MONTHS ago. I've been cleared by my surgeon to resume "light" exercise: walking and jogging are okay, heavy lifting and ab work are not. So, there's a run on the schedule today. And tomorrow. And the next day.

Oh! And a big shout out to my mom, who took me out last Saturday for coffee, a pedicure, groceries, and new running shoes. My mom is one of my biggest cheerleaders, and I'm beyond grateful for her. YAY MOM!

GPOYW - Kissy Face!

My Best Guido - 2.24.2010

Gym. Tan. Laundry.

Oh, and that's a new shirt, from the REGULAR SIZE SECTION of OldNavy.com. No more plus sized shirts for me! Woo!

216.8

Not as bad as I thought. And, as Bitchcakes reminded me (are you reading Bitchcakes? You should be!), it's a temporary fluctuation, and I just had surgery FOR PETE'S SAKE!

GPOYW and HOLY COW!

Thanks to Photojojo, I recently discovered a fun intarwebs trend called "Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Wednesday" or GPOYW. Apparently everybody likes to do self-portraits on Wednesdays, and who am I to argue? They're fun, and on Wednesdays I usually don't have much to write about here. So, here's my first one:

Aside from the fact that I need some waxing and a fashion intervention, I think I look pretty good! Not bad for somebody who got hacked open on the operating table less than a week ago.

But what's "HOLY COW" about, you may be wondering. Well, right after I snapped this picture, I grabbed my phone and called to set up my NCE test date. HO. LY. COW! I can't believe I'm finally going to get this done. My test is on March 20th, so feel free to send good ju-ju my way on that day.

Just to clarify why this is such a big deal...I graduated from massage school in 2007. That's right, THREE YEARS AGO. And I never signed up for my certification test, until now. What's even worse is that I went through school TWICE because I didn't finish all the program requirements the first time. Anyway! That's the past! Now I'm done with school, I've scheduled my test, and before long I'll be free from the Green Apron Empire and on my way to building a successful massage therapy practice.

I'm A Visual Person

I made a sort of project board in my office to keep track of the three big goals I have for this year (NCE, AAS, and esthetics school). It's a daily reminder for me. Whenever I'm about to get distracted with Facebook, or Twitter, or wandering around the internet, I look at this board.

What visual reminders (if any) do YOU use to stay on track?

RIP Heidi Montag

Cue the triumphant music, bitches.

Remember that checklist of medical issues I wrote a while back? Well, I'm super stoked to tell you that ALL of those issues are resolved. For realsies. Fred the Face Lump -- GONE. My knee -- still hurts from time to time but the orthopedist found no problems. And most importantly, my own personal pain in the ass, Heidi Montag, is DEAD AND GONE.

(Before people start wigging out and zipping over to People.com for confirmation, I have to clarify: I gave my gall bladder a nickname.)

This past Friday, my wonderful and trusted surgeon (Doc Basil) put some dime-sized holes in my abdomen and fished out my stone-filled and pain-inducing gall bladder. While he was in there, he also checked my mystery lump and found it to be (as he suspected) a pocket of fluid. And as if that were not enough, he discovered the cause of those debilitating pains I had back in September -- the surgical mesh used to repair my incisional hernia had SLIPPED as the area healed. Super fun, huh? At least now I know it wasn't all in my head.

Anyway, so here I am four days out from surgery, and I feel pretty much awesome. The only ookie part of this whole ordeal is that the fluid pocket thingy is still draining. What that means is every couple of hours I have to swap out a big wad of gauze pads that are taped to my belly. Gross, yes, but it's a hell of a lot better than having some mystery lump staring back up at me.

The physical stuff is straightforward, but there's also been an emotional change that I can hardly wrap my brain around. The best way to describe it is to say that it's as if somebody lit a bonfire under my ass. I have never, and I do mean NEVER, felt so motivated to get things done in my entire life. I'm not talking about housekeeping, or writing, or just scratching things off the To Do list. I'm talking about making all the changes that I've been talking about and dreaming about for years. I'm talking about having concrete plans for work, exercise, family, and travel. I'm talking about looking at those goals that seemed unattainable and KNOWING, not just thinking but KNOWING, that they are attainable. I feel inspired, ambitious, passionate, and excited about my life. And man OH man, is it a good feeling.

So what are these things that I'm so excited to tackle?

• I'm finally, finally, FINALLY taking the NCE and getting my license to practice massage therapy. I've sent in all my paperwork, scheduled a test prep class, and now I'm just waiting for a test date.
• I've decided that after the NCE, I'm going to finish my Associate's Degree. I looked over some of my school paperwork, and I'm actually much closer to being done than I thought I was. I'm scheduling an appointment with an admissions/advisory person at the local community college before the end of March.
• After the Associate's is done, I'm considering going to esthetics school. It's a 600 hour program, and it would cost a good chunk of change, but being both a CMT and a licensed esthetician would make it extremely easy for me to either a) get a full-time position at a spa or b) start my OWN business, which is really what I'm more interested in.
• FITNESS! I had a fantastic workout with Smith on the Wednesday before my surgery. It felt so good, and it was exactly what I needed. He gave me a serious kick in the booty along with some great words of motivation (I'll be writing more about those later).

This is my year, kids. This is the year we're going to make it all happen. Let's GO!

215.4

Just a tiny loss this week. It's still a loss, though! And I also just feel a little smaller, finally. I ordered some new clothes from Old Navy and I actually have to send them back because - GASP! - they're TOO BIG.

I haven't been doing too well on the exercise front. Between the snow last weekend and the overall "blah"-ness of the weather, I'm having a hard time getting up the gumption to pack up and head to the Y.

Food-wise, this week hasn't been too fantastic, either. I didn't plan our menu like I usually do, so as a result we've eaten take-out twice. Granted, the take-out we got wasn't total crap -- no pizza, no fast food -- but it still wasn't as healthy as a home-cooked meal.

So what's the plan for this weekend? Well, for once I don't have nine billion things to do, and I'm off both Saturday and Sunday. I'm going to spin class on Saturday morning, and Sunday we're having a Super Bowl party. I really want to try and work out before the party, just so I don't feel too bad if I eat a few stuffed mushrooms.