Let's Get Funky

A couple of weeks ago, Smith decided it was time to add something to my diet and exercise routine: a fat-burning supplement. As someone who's struggled with weight for more than two decades, I was really skeptical. However, I do trust Smith, and at this point I'm always willing to try something new. I started taking the stuff per his instructions. Whether or not my "purple crack" is actually melting away fat, I can't say. What I can tell you is that it gives me a lot of energy, makes me sweat even more than usual, and has helped to curb my appetite. Over the last couple of days, though, I've encountered a less than pleasant side-effect.

I STINK.

Now, I know everyone stinks a little in their own special way (pheromones, right?) and thanks to the modern convenience of deodorant/antiperspirant, we rarely notice each other's funk. But I'm not talking about a casual your-Degree's-not-really-cutting-it-today smell. I'm talking about foul, old gym bag, meat-sweat, holy HELL that just PONGS, straight up, STINK.

I pride myself on being one of those people who always smells yummy -- not perfumey, so much, but a faint mix of Gain, soap, and the occasional essential oil. So this stinky business? Not making me really happy right now. Smith's explanation is that I've started burning off older fat that's full of junk (or my favorite word -- TOXINS) and the junk is making its way out of me via my armpits. "That's what you get for eating crap!" he said. Oh so comforting, Smith.

I'm hoping that this stinky phase passes quickly. In the meantime, if you have any coupons for Degree, send 'em my way, okay?