Habit

This week's habit: Hope.

My friend JoAnna left a really sweet comment on my Facebook page the other day:

Jenny, you are a beautiful person. I keep up with this blog, and you are very hard on yourself. I know you think that you have to be. I have been there. Last year, I weighed 240 lbs. I am by no means where I want to be now, but I have lost 70 lbs. It is habit. A very hard habit to break. I know you can do it, God knows if I can, anyone can... If the hubs brings home junk food, tell him not to. Don't buy cookies and chips, trust me, if they were in the house, I would have eaten them. It is a habit now for me not to want them, and I don't crave them anymore. You can do it Jenny. If you want, we can do it together.

The part that jumped out at me was the second line: "...and you are very hard on yourself." I think that's true. I've used self-deprecating humor as a defense mechanism for so long, I almost don't know how to stop. I learned a long time ago that if I crack a joke about myself first, then when others joke on me, it doesn't hurt (as much). Kind of a Cyrano complex, I guess.

Anyway, this week I'm working on my attitude. That's a habit, just like drinking water or eating breakfast. I am staying positive, throwing the negativity out the window, and keeping the little stew-pot of hope bubbling on the stove.